You have kids? Great!

Raising kids of my own only qualifies me to empathize with parents who struggle to make sense of parenthood. I pass no judgement on any as I am equally unqualified to comment. Neither does the fact of being a Paediatrician make that difference one bit. Clueless. Most of the time, I fumble to discover new things about being a father. Everyday.

Some day I wish God had come up with an instruction manual. And that manual would include the access codes to switch off the whining, nagging, and most of all, a must, the PAUSE button. I like the idea of the movie "Click" where Adam Sandler stumbled upon an "Omnipotent" remote control that changed the dynamic of his family life. In reality, I would use it to rewind to the moments in life where I would undo a few mistakes along the way with regards to raising my own. I would probably do it right the second time...or at least I will keep at it until I get it right.

You see, it is not the kids fault if they turn out disrespectful, angry, vengeful, ungrateful, rebellious, or sour, soft, wimpy, and worst of all suicidal. It seems we parents are the ones to be blamed. I would like to smack that guy who said that. Pardon me for not being the best dad in the world, but I am really trying my best. From the moment I held my kids in my arms, I had vowed to take care of them with my utmost devotion and love. The proudest moment of my life is to be a father to my kids.

But some where along the line, things never quite end up as I'd imagined. Before you know it, they are pubertal and asking if their friends can sleep over for the weekend. What happened to those years of birthday parties, funny hats, balloons and ribbons? What happened to putting them to bed and reading them Dr Seuss? What happened to potty training? Or the moment when they took their first steps....

I have never thought that a child would one day become a man. To me, they had always remained a child in my eyes and my heart. And though I know very well the stages of developmental milestones in a child as my profession demands of me, I had missed the stages of their emotional and spiritual development. Those that you don't see on the surface. You can be so caught up with the performance and not see their struggles along the way. By this, I don't just mean school performance.

I am coming to terms that perhaps I am not the best dad in the world. And that perhaps my kids are not the prim and proper, crew cut military obedience to a fault type. With their "Yes Sir", "No Sir" perfectly punctuated as they carry out their chores with honour and exuberance. Neither am I disillusioned about finding the perfect balance in parenthood. I think there is no such thing. You simply manage as you go along. Discover new things and learn. And relearn.

Perhaps one single thought that keeps me going at the end of a frustration day would be the saying of the famous Dr. James Dobson. "Just get them through it." Yes, that sounds like a plan.

Comments

  1. It's never easy raising kids and there is no real right or wrong way to do it.

    As long as they grow up to be a semblance of what we envisioned, I guess that's good enough. They learn and chart their own lives after that.

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    Replies
    1. Nick. We try our best. One day, that will only dawn on them when they raise their own.

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  2. I have two boys, being a single dad is never easy.
    There are days that all you wanna do is to sit down and cried, but i don't have that luxury.
    In spite of all that i never regretted being a parent, i concur we try our best without the "instruction manual" lol. Sometimes we get it right, sometimes we left questioning ourselves.
    Proud to be a dad, it's the best feeling in the world!

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    Replies
    1. yes indeed bro. And you still manage those crazy mileages and mind boggling ultras!!

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