A Rendezvous with Standard Chartered Marathon Singapore 2011

It's deja vu.

History has a knack of repeating itself. But doomed as it sounds, it is not inevitable. I actually have a choice in deciding how deep the rabbit hole goes...

Fresh from the memory of PBIM on November 20, I am once again facing the prospect of another agonizing 42km this coming Sunday on 4 Dec 2011.

Bravery or stupidity? I can't tell.

Some well meaning friends advised me to skip this one. I acknowledge their concerns with the utmost appreciation. Main issues: inadequate recovery & potential injuries. Both absolutely sound reasons to withdraw. It would seem prudent to take heed.

But....I have other plans.

I am not striving for a MM title (Marathon Maniac). But seriously, this is not some feeble attempt to redeem my dignity after the blunder in PBIM. I don't have to prove myself. Lesson analysed and learned, along with archives of past blunders, it is now genomically integrated like a third eye. Now, moving on seems the most befitting thing to do.

I have blogged about both PBIM and SCMS events last year. Both were valuable lessons albeit unpleasant to recall. Am I about to repeat myself this Sunday? I really do not know. But this leaves me with the uneasy anticipation like a patient waiting for the report of his lymph node biopsy. Unnerving.

On the other hand, preparedness, I have. Mentally. And even physically, Felt that I have adequately recovered  from the wretched PBIM. No aches and pains to moan about. No squeaky joints or tender muscles to make me limp. No lethargia in the early hours of my wake. Almost too fabulous. Even the breathing is surprisingly smooth after a moderate tempo run. So, I am feeling great!

But some how, the lingering thought of past experiences seem to forewarn an impending doom.....

After much soul searching and deliberation, I have decided to run SCMS. Though arguably, no one would consider skipping this a cowardly act. (And frankly, no one gives a damn too!) But for myself, and for better or worse, I have to face it. It's a rendezvous with fear. Much like a surfer returning to the sea after a near fatal shark attack. You can't explain it logically. It's a matter of the soul. Issue of the heart. If it is fear that I need to face, skipping this race would seem to empower it's impertinent advance. The next race would no doubt be a tougher one to face....

Some may find this laughable. But laugh all you want. I don't care. Some may say: Exercise your intelligence. You can always run next time. Just not now. Recovery is part of training too. I know all that. Yet, the thoughts were tossing and turning in my head like a restless sea with it's billowing waves. I can just imagine waking up on Dec 5th. Having NOT run the SCMS. I know somehow I would regret it.

This is not some heroic or romantic ideal, deprived of reality, but to me, it is a struggle worthy of every sweat and blood. If we can't live for something, what do we live for? Though running isn't everything, it is nonetheless an integral part of who I am. Losing the will to run is not an option. If I give in this time, I may lose more than I would ever know.

The decision to run is only the beginning. I still have to face the music.

By God's grace, I will complete SCMS. And I will remember to run it with a well thought out strategy based on my current fitness. No heroics this time. No attempt at sub 3:15. But conserved to a LSD pace geared for an aim of sub 3 goal for Boston in April 2012.

Too far fetch? I don't know.

But these are not hollow sentiments or empty words. Of that, I am sure.

More updates when I am done with SCMS.

Comments

  1. Sounds like a plan to me. I'd have run it too if I'm in your shoes. Everyone's different and has a different take on things. You set the course and just go for it. Have a good training run!

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  2. Only one way to find out! Thanks Jamie. U running SCMS?

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  3. Nope. Have gotten tired of Sg. With apologies to my Singaporean friends LOL!

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  4. Where you stay in Singapore, Francis? S2 runners stay at SEA Hotel.

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  5. Follow the heart,decide yes or not and give the best shot! Jiayou Francis~!!

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  6. See you in Singapore :D
    Take it easy and enjoy the run!

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  7. Lim, roughing it out at A Beary Nice Hostel. Chinatown.
    Annie, thanks, I hv made up my mind. The tough part is realizing it on Sunday.
    Neoh, Hope to see u there too. Hv a good run!

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